Emotional Intelligence
The author explains in this book that, in a success of a person, IQ, which means Intelligent Quotient, contributes at most 20%. And rest is the contribution of EQ, i.e., Emotional Quotient. Where IQ is your ability to know, understand, and apply the knowledge correctly, EQ is is an art of understanding and managing the emotions of self and of others.
Emotional Intelligence Book Details
| Book Name | Emotional Intelligence |
| Author Name | Daniel Goleman |
| Pages | 368 pages |
| Language | English |
| Book Size | 4 MB |
Emotional Intelligence Book Details Contents
PART ONE THE EMOTIONAL BRAIN
- What Are Emotions For?
- Anatomy of an Emotional Hijacking
PART TWO THE NATURE OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE - When Smart Is Dumb
- Know Thyself
- Passion’s Slaves
- The Master Aptitude
- The Roots of Empathy
- The Social Arts
PART THREE EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE APPLIED - Intimate Enemies
- Managing with Heart
- Mind and Medicine
PART FOUR WINDOWS OF OPPORTUNITY - The Family Crucible
- Trauma and Emotional Relearning
- Temperament Is Not Destiny
PART FIVE EMOTIONAL LITERACY - The Cost of Emotional Illiteracy
- Schooling the Emotions
Emotional Intelligence Book Summary
Those with high EQ can easily adjust to changing environments. Unfortunately, there are worldwide trends for younger generations to be more emotionally troubled than past generations, which leads to mental illness, crime, addiction, and many such negative consequences. Schools and colleges also pay no attention to emotional problems in their life, so parents need to educate their children. The problem is that most young people aren’t very emotionally literate, because they weren’t given any education on their emotional intelligence.
It is an ability through which we can understand and manage our emotions. How emotionally intelligent you are, decides the quality of your relationship, how you manage stress in your daily work, how well you can talk with others, and how good you are at your job. It means you should know how to manage your negative and positive emotions. We can’t spend all our life just feeling good. We should never ignore our negative emotions.
An emotionally intelligent person cannot stay happy forever. He always knows that how to respond to the emotions of others. And when we don’t know how to respond to the emotions of others, then the best way is to not respond at all. You don’t always need to react too much. Not responding means that, react only when an emotion really deserves a response. For example, you should react if your friend has met an accident. But if it is a small thing, don’t react in that condition. Your emotions come and go. By definition, we cannot fully control any emotion.
Therefore, by developing emotional intelligence, we learn to react to emotions. And you will decide how to react in a given situation. As we shared earlier, the way you react to your emotions, your small reactions will affect your life the same way. Let’s understand how by developing emotional intelligence, you can be good at health, relationship, and work in your life. Your mental health. Your mental health reflects your emotional life. How you manage stress in your everyday life, which gives you both big and small stress and decides the health of your brain.
You don’t have to look carefully at your emotions, you just have to understand them as a curious observer. You have to experience well every emotion in your life. You will soon understand, that the pain you bear is optional. And you were willingly attracting that pain towards yourself. Your relationships. You can make your relationships a successful bond, which is attached to your emotions.
If you react well and satisfy the emotional needs of your friends, family members, or those who you love, then you are attracting healthy relations in your life. If your needs aren’t fulfilled by your relations, then learn to talk effectively, and with good communication skills, explain your needs to your partner. This is the biggest problem in any relationship, and many people face this problem. Your job. If you are in a leader’s position in your job, then listen to your employees carefully. This technique is used by the world’s richest and most successful people also. When you will listen to your employees, your employees will also feel very good. And employees will respect you even more. They will perform best at everything and will complain the least.
Suppose that you are an employee, what motivates you the most? And how this motivation, impacts our emotional level so that your life becomes easier than before, and how you can remove your stress? And do the same with your employees. here, we want to show 5 practical ways, through which you can develop emotional intelligence in your life. You can never understand emotions perfectly unless you understand what emotions are. When you begin to lose self-awareness, it looks like you are on a small boat, and trying to reach the heights of the ocean, which is your emotions. But the waves bring you back with that. You don’t know how to reach the heights of the ocean. You just ride your boat and then call someone for help. Self-awareness means understanding yourself. Self-awareness has 3 levels. what you are doing? Whatever you are doing, how does it make you feel? And the most difficult part, What you don’t know about yourself?
To know what you are doing: It might sound to you very straightforward, but the truth is, people in the 21st century don’t know at all what they are doing. People don’t know where to go, what to do. They just keep moving like sheep. We are on autopilot for almost 90%. Autopilot means repeating your daily habits. Checking E-mails, checking the message of your best friend, then using Instagram, and then watching some online videos. this all keeps repeating again and again. If you keep yourself away from these distractions and switch off your phone, then you are in the first stage of self-awareness. You have to find a quiet place and meditate there quietly. Meditation is important for your mental health. There are many types of distractions: TV, drug, alcohol, video games, and many more. You have to make a timetable, which will help you stay away from distraction.
After waking up in the morning, don’t listen to a song or a podcast, just think about your life. Think of how you are feeling. Meditate for only 10 minutes. Delete social media for a week. You will be shocked to think about what has happened to you. On deleting social media app, you will learn that you are being programmed like a machine, which is called phone addiction. We use distraction in our life. because we want to ignore many emotions, which don’t make us feel good. So you have to remove all distractions, and just focus on how you are feeling. Many times we don’t know what we want to do.
Everyone wants to feel good, therefore Netflix, amazon prime, and many other video platforms are earning from you. And you don’t even know. We don’t blame these platforms, but most of the time they waste your good time. First, you have to focus on how you are feeling, and it might bother you as well. Someone might be frustrated, and some people go into depression due to negative feelings. This isn’t good for us. If you focus on yourself, you will feel sad a maximum of times a day. You will realize how many people you have had a quarrel with, and your anger goes out of your control. You will understand that you are only using the phone in your life. And you are also on the wrong way, just like others.
97% population is unsuccessful. Have you ever thought why? Because of the habits that rich and successful people follow, a normal person doesn’t want to follow them. Because making a good habit is difficult. There is a good reason behind any emotion. Even if you don’t find that reason, it is still good for you. So don’t blame yourself. Now you will think, how it can be a good reason if you are feeling bad? So in the next point, we will learn how to channelize our emotions. If we are feeling uncomfortable, we start to feel irritation and anger.
Therefore, it is important to develop emotional intelligence for us. Some people believe that emotions can be controlled. But this isn’t true. You can only react to an emotion. Emotions are like signals, which tell us where to focus, and where to pay attention. We can decide to react nicely to a particular emotion. There is nothing like good or bad emotion in the world. There are only good or bad reactions in our life pertaining to emotions. In emotional intelligence, your anger can hurt others if used for a bad purpose. But if it is used to protect society, then it can work as a good emotion. You feel good when you experience happiness. You also share the same with others as well. Then something good manifests in your life. If you can use your anger for a good purpose, then you have learned to manage emotions.
Now you know what you are feeling. You have to decide that emotion, whether good or bad. Looking at that emotional situation, you have to make a decision. The purpose of explaining this all is that you should use your emotions for a good purpose in the right direction. The right direction, which psychologists call, “goal-directed behavior.” Are you lost while doing something? Like, you started and didn’t even realize the time. And you are deep into that thing. After 3 hours, you feel like only 15 minutes have passed. The same thing happens with many others as well. People be up to earns in their work. Often, good ideas don’t come while working.
This is because of our negative feeling. Change your feeling into a good feeling when you work. Good ideas will also come with good feelings. Our feelings depend on our actions. Initially, your actions motivate you. Then your emotions enter a flow state, where you are lost in your work. This is called the “do something principle” in our language. This principle is so strong, that you can also start using it from today. We will show its definition in English. The do something principle states that taking action is not just the effect of motivation, but also the cause of it. Let’s understand this in the simple language now. This principle states, your actions don’t depend on motivation, but it is dependent on the cause of motivation.
If you start to take action, your motivation will increase even more. Many people find inspiration by watching videos. And they think, “I will take action after this”. They think, their life will change by doing this. And also their situation. People think we need to be prepared for taking an action first. And after few days, they finally take action. And after few days, those same people watch more videos to find new ways of motivation. It’s wrong to think that we get motivation from the outside. Not at all. First, we take action, then we get motivation. Then again we take action. And this cycle keeps on. Our meaning to say is that, if you want to learn to effectively manage your emotions, You will have to do something. You can take free online classes, you can learn to play a musical instrument, You can learn new skills from Google, You can learn writing, can read books of successful people, and much more. You have to pay special attention to your feelings. Use the same observation in your future behavior.
Behave covered so much so far, how we have to deal with our emotions, and how we should direct our emotions. This is all inside you only. Our main goal is that you develop your emotional intelligence and strengthen your relationships. Healthy relationships, Romantic relationships, Family relationships, Friendships, in all relationships, you need to understand the emotional needs of others. Your partner or your friend expects what type of reaction from you, and how you actually react.
When you connect yourself with your family members, they will expect that you listen to them. So, you just have to listen to others quietly. And there you got a technique. When you listen to the whole thing from a friend, they feel very satisfied within themselves. And due to this, your relationship bond strengthens even more. Listening to others carefully. This doesn’t mean you have to understand everything. You just have to accept them completely. If you don’t understand them, still, listen to them fully and accept them. You should value people, who are available for you.
When Daniel Goleman’s book “Emotional Intelligence” came in the 90s, it caused a stir around the world. And it became a new concept in the field of psychology. CEOs, managers, all these people started reading about emotional intelligence. And they learned to convert their actions into motivation. Therapists, through emotional awareness, began to give even better treatment to their patients. Parents understood how emotional intelligence can be beneficial for their children.
A child’s father taught him to use emotional intelligence. And also taught honesty and respect. There might be people who use this knowledge for bad deeds. And will try to manipulate people for their own benefit. If you want to spend your life nicely, then you should be very clear, that you value others with all your heart. Because of what your emotional energy is, it will always reach people. And therefore, you should develop emotional intelligence skills.
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